


Let's Talk About it (but only if you want)

by Genderfluid_Lord



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: 3rd person writing with a focus on Alex's POV, Alex changes pronouns throughout the writing, Cuddling, Dealing with emotion is hard, Early Relationship, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, I just wanted to write something for them honestly, Let me know if there's any trigger warnings i should put besides the ones I already did!, M/M, Multi, Natalie Chase (mentioned), Sharing a Bed, TW: Death mention, TW: grieving character, alex is worried, and I don't see many people talking about how Magnus feels abt his mother's death?? So yeah, but Alex is there to help out!, dealing with grief, magnus is in grief, remembering past grief, soft really, there's nothing too graphic but Magnus refuses to eat for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 11:42:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19317481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genderfluid_Lord/pseuds/Genderfluid_Lord
Summary: Magnus was, if Alex were to describe him, the type of person who seemed to go by their lives (deaths?) as smoothly as possible, not showing much signs of distress or mood swings at all. So when in the week following Thanksgiving Magnus seemed to shut off completely and never leaving his room to the extent of not showing up not even to eat, she begins to worry.ORMagnus is grieving and Alex wants to help.





	Let's Talk About it (but only if you want)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!! It's my first time writing Magnus and Alex and my writing skills are a bit rusty, but I hope you enjoy reading this nonetheless!

Magnus was, if Alex were to describe him, the type of person who seemed to go by their lives (deaths?) as smoothly as possible, not showing much signs of distress or mood swings at all. So when in the week following Thanksgiving Magnus seemed to shut off completely and never leaving his room to the extent of not showing up not even to eat, she begins to worry.   
It's almost like a gut feeling, making her feel like there's a reason behind it all, something that the blonde one wasn't letting her know about, which was, to say the most, odd. Their relationship was still in its early stages, especially because Magnus was really respectful of Alex's boundaries — which she was very grateful for—, so it wasn't like Magnus would just spill his heart out to her, but still...   
Truth be told, she missed his company. And the dumb jokes, and everything else that made Magnus… well, Magnus. And even if she didn't want to admit it, his soft and somewhat summery presence never failed to make her feel safe. With all of that in mind and a few broken ceramic pots later, she-- no, he, Alex noted; He decided to go check in on the other, taking his time (and failing at) to try not to fidget too much as he walked towards Magnus' door.   
He took a deep breathe before knocking on it and waited. After a few moments he knocked again. He looked around the mostly silent hall as the time passed, his concern growing, especially when he wasn't able to hear a single thing even when carefully putting his ear on to the door's surface.  
After considering his options, he called Blitzen, hoping him or Hearth could help, but the call went straight into voicemail. He tried a couple more times but, seeing that the dwarf clearly wasn't going to answer, decided to go back to his room and called Samirah, his shoulders tensing as he waited for his sister to answer the phone.   
— Alex? — she asked, her voice muffled by the sound of wind as she probably looked around for a roof in which to land.  
— Hey Sam, uh...   
— Anything wrong? — the other asked, voice now clearer and sounding concerned when Alex didn't use the usual "whaddup" form of greeting.   
— I-- Actually, yeah, there's something wrong. I just don't know what it is exactly.   
— Is anyone hurt?   
— No, I don't think so, it's just-- — He let out a sigh, mentally cursing at his own lack of eloquence — It's Magnus. He's just been very... gloomy lately? I don't know how to describe it, he's been locked in his room all day and won't come out, not even to eat? I'm worried something might've happened, he isn't the kind of person to voice his concerns but at the same time he's usually more open with me, you know? Do you think something happened? Like, anything? Oh Gods what if I did something and now he doesn't wanna talk to me? That's so on brand I keep messing things up—  
— Alex-- Alex, stop rambling, and calm down. I don't think that's it, Magnus isn't the type of person to just stop talking to someone because of a silly little fight. I mean, unless it was something serious. Did you two have any discussions recently?  
— No?   
— No??   
— I mean, I DON'T KNOW!  
— Ok, ok, calm down, no need to panic. I believe in you. You said he's been like this for a while?   
— Yeah, I think he's been this shut off since... Probably since Thanksgiving? We didn't celebrate it per se because of all the history behind it and stuff but we did throw a banquet at the Chase Space for the kids and-- Sam?  
Sam had gone completely silent and Alex could feel the line begin to flood with realization.   
— Oh no...   
— What?? What is it?   
— It wasn't a fight, I... Look, I might be wrong, but I'm pretty much sure his mom died around this time of the year? I remember him telling me that she was... That she was gone a bit after Thanksgiving. You know how he is, always taking care of others but never of himself.  
— Oh shit...   
They both stayed silent for a bit, until Samirah sighed.   
— Look, maybe you could try talking to him? I know you probably wouldn't be comfortable doing that but Blitzen and Hearthstone are on a mission for Odin and I really can't leave practice right now...   
— Oh so that’s why they didn't answer me.  
— You called them first?  
— Yeah? Don't get me wrong Sam, you two are like, best friends or whatever but Blitz and Hearth are practically his parents, I figured they'd be a bit more skilled when dealing with him.  
Samirah chuckled a bit before agreeing, but the sound was humorless. They were silent for a while before Alex began talking again.  
— Anyway, I'll try to uh, talk to him, as you said. Thanks a lot, see ya.   
— Bye, keep me informed ok? I gotta go now, but I'll try and talk to you later.  
— Will do, thanks again.   
And with that he ended the call and plopped on his bed mentally preparing to go to Magnus' room, not entirely sure of what exactly he could do or say to help him out. He looked around the room, eyes resting on a small snake plushie he had gifted him back in may, and suddenly his mouth broke into a smile. Grabbing the plushie, he took his time to make some tea and went on his little quest, praying mentally to any god listening that his plan worked out.

Realizing a bit too late that knocking on the door probably wasn't going to work, Alex resisted the urge to turn into a animal and run away, quickly deciding to announce his presence by calling out for Magnus, who didn't answer right away, which almost made him think that there wasn't anyone there. But then a low humming began, which was, if anything, enough for him to realise the other was, in fact, inside the room, except he was hidden in a cocoon of blankets and pillows.   
— Hi there, hm… — he looked around and sighed, closing the door behind him and walking lightly to Magnus’ bed. — I-- I'm here.   
Magnus made mention of moving but decided not to, but Alex counted as a victory when he popped his head out of the mess that his bed was in.   
A victory, that was, until he saw the bags under the blonde's eyes and, these, rimmed red, his hair more all over the place than usual. He sat on the bed softly, eyes growing with concern.   
— Can I come closer?   
— Sure. — Magnus’ voice, lacking the usual bitey and cheery tone came after a dry, humourless chuckle. He moved closer and held out his hand, which took the other by surprise, but he moved around and soon enough they were holding hands, Alex drawing small circles on his palm and looking him in his eyes.   
— Look, you know I'm not the best at these kind of things, but I'm here. If you wanna talk it out or just scream, or cry even, it's ok. Just don't push us-- don't push me away, if you can. — He said slowly, putting the tea he'd made on Magnus' bediside table and putting the plushie onto the other's hand that wasn't occupied holding his.  
Magnus broke eye contact, holding onto the silly little plushie and staying silent for a while, which almost made Alex spiral down about how he probably had said the wrong thing. Almost, that is, because Magnus started talking, his voice small and filled with sadness, but he was talking, and that in itself was something to be proud of.   
— I just miss her you know? It's kinda dumb honestly it's been so long--   
— No, no, of course not, it isn't dumb at all. She was… she was important to you, and you miss her, there's nothing wrong with that. — he reassured, realizing he had started using the tone he'd usually have when talking to a new kid at the chase space, ever so gentle. — I don't have much experience with uh, missing my family, but I know what it feels like to lose someone important to you and I--I'm here for you, ok? It's hard and it’s complicated but I'm here.   
He was repeating himself but Magnus seemed to catch up to the honest meaning feelings behind his voice, his mouth breaking into a more genuine, soft smile. He held his hand tighter and Alex tightened the hold, too, the two of them staying in a comfortable silence for a while.  
— I could-- If that's ok with you, maybe if I told you some things about her that could help? I don't really have anyone to share my memories with and--  
— Sure! Of course Magnus, go ahead. — He smiled, too.   
— Also, I, hm. Do you-- do you want to lay down with me? If that's ok to you that is!! I don't want to take advantage of you or anything it'd be just easier to talk if we're both comfortable and--  
Alex laughed out loud, which made Magnus’ ramble stop hard on its tracks as his eyes grew wider, his face reddening a bit as he looked away.   
— I'd love to.  
— Ok! Just a second-- — he looked around and untangled his body from the blankets, moving them around a bit shakely until he seemed satisfied with it, lifting part of it so Alex could lay down, too.  
Then it was Alex's turn to get a bit red when he realised that'd be the first time they would actually lay down together like this, but he pushed the thoughts aside and got comfortable on the other's bed, Magnus’ face showing relief as he untensed his shoulders, probably because Alex almost took too long to actually get there, but soon enough they were both covered in the soft, green blankets.   
Alex put his arms around Magnus’ waist, looking up to make sure that that was ok and waiting patiently as he began to prepare himself to talk about Natalie.   
— She was… She was amazing, honestly. We would go hiking sometimes, and she made the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the whole world. — His eyes shined a bit at the memories, and Alex smiled, too.   
— I can imagine. Were you too close?   
— Oh, definitely. It was just the two of us after all. Of course, I had Annabeth, but we only met in family gatherings, which didn't happen that often after some… discussions. She reminds-- reminded. She reminded me of spring, you know? And the sun. And she had freckles! — He suddenly remembered, the sadness in his eyes growing again after realising that, up until that very moment, he had forgotten about something so keen about his mother. — And I even have some, too.   
— Yeah, I noticed. I love them.  
— You do? — He seemed confused, and his voice gave away the fact that he didn't think of himself as something to be noticed, much less appreciated, which, if possible, almost made Alex's heart break a little more.  
— Of course! — He-- no, She got a bit red, looking away momentarily before meeting his gaze again and motioning for him to continue.  
— You're gonna make fun of me forever over this, but she used to call me her little polar bear, because I never got cold, even at the top of mountains. And she called me sweetie which surprisingly wasn't awkward even when I became a teenager.   
— Oh you can count on me for that! Just kidding, thought. That was really cute of you two, she seems like an incredible woman. By the way--   
— She/her pronouns?  
Alex blinked a few times, smiling widely at him.  
— Yep. How come you always know?   
— It's my super power.   
— You drink way too much respecting genderfluid people juice, Maggie.   
— Of course!! Now coming back, darling, she was also really good at basically everything. And she didn't believe much in a superior force or power or anything, but sometimes she would talk about my dad, and sometimes the flowers in her mini garden would blossom just for a little bit longer after spring ended, and she would smile and talk about it for days. I guess it was Frey's way of being present even if he wasn't physically there, you know? I kinda sensed that and--  
— Wait wait wait. Darling? Since when do we use pet names?  
— Since you made a fuss about me saying honey on our mission in Jotunheim.  
— …You got a point. Now go on.   
— She had short blonde hair, which was always soft for some reason. There was this one time when she got me some plastic toys for me to play on this park nearby, it had lots of sand and she hid some stuff around for me to dig, I think she secretly wanted me to he a pirate or something.   
— You'd be an awesome captain!   
— Stop making fun of my childhood dreams Alex — he said, laughing genuinely.  
— Nope. Just kidding though, I'd never use something that personal against you. — She reassured, holding onto him just a bit tighter as if to make her point come across more surely.  
— Yeah... Anyway. She was always there for me, and she gave the best hugs, and she always took me out to have ice cream or falafel, and I-- — His voice faltered,— I miss her. I really really miss her.   
He sobbed, the silent tears that had been growing on his eyes finally running down his cheeks, having a somewhat golden-ish shimmer to them...  
And, if even there still was sadness hovering in his grey eyes, his gloomy aura slowly began dissipating as he cried more openly and as, telling Alex about everything that reminded him of Natalie, and she was happy to hear it all, making a comment every now and then. After a few hours of continuous cuddling, Magnus hugged Alex, this time for real and not just a simple cuddle, making her-- No, him. Him blush, and he couldn't help but to be distracted by how brightly the shorter one eye's shone and pulled his gaze towards both different coloured eyes that, in the comfort of it all, seemed to become just one shade of golden bronze.  
— Thank you, Alex. Really .  
He snorted, averting his eyes. — No problem, honey.   
At that, it was Magnus turn to blush. _Well,_ he thought, _I was the one who started it all, so there's no use to try and back off now._  
— Hey, I know you're still… recovering, but what about we go grab something to eat?   
— But Alex--   
— No buts. You haven't eaten well and I'm seriously hungry.   
— Ughhh… — he complained, crossing his arms and laughing as Alex tried to poke his belly.  
— Not even falafel?   
At that, Magnus' eyes widened, and Alex had to shake his head in disbelief while laughing, knowing damn well that that was going to get his boyfriend right out of the bed and-- Wait. Boyfriend? _Oh well, there's no use in trying to back off now, is there?_ He thought.  
— Let's go?   
— Yeah. Just give me a minute to change into something more uhh... clean.   
— Sure. I'll wait outside, okay?   
— Okay… — he answered more cheerly, and as Alex walked towards the door, the blonde's voice came out a bit timid from behind him, just loudly enough to make him turn around. — And, Alex? Thank you. Again, it means a lot to me.   
Alex smiled and, in a urge of courage, answered and slammed the door behind his back.   
— Anything for you, sunshine boy.   
Both of them thanked every possible god that there was that the other couldn't see the strong blush across their cheeks. A few minutes later, they were holding each other's hands and walking into the elevator, looking forward to lots of falafel at Fadlan's and, maybe, a bit of ice cream with a side of more cuddling later.

 


End file.
